A client I pray with regularly told me she was very angry with God. Because of that, she was reluctant to talk to me and asked me not to call her back.
I get it! If we are truly honest, we are all angry with God from time to time.
In my case, I was angry with God for YEARS! My first marriage was a trainwreck. Thinking I was marrying a ‘good Christian man,’ I discovered he was mean and manipulative. Try as I could, I could not endure the abuse and began praying earnestly for the situation.
“God, please change my husband,” I pleaded … over and over again.
Finally, after years of abuse and no change, I packed up my kids, and we left.
But it didn’t end there. I could never reconcile my bad marriage and divorce with all the petitions I had made for God to change my husband. God was not there for me, I thought. And this thought festered in a passive/aggressive anger with God.
Not long after, I left the non-denominational church I was attending and quit reading my Bible. Looking back, I was throwing a temper tantrum directed at the God that I thought was not there for me when I needed them the most.
Being angry with God is not so unusual.
I’ve heard stories from close friends who have left traditional churches, angry and disillusioned with their historical concept of God. And often, when a difficult situation arises, they lift their fists to the skies and blame God.
Of course, I felt like a new person after leaving the abusive marriage. I found new freedom to be myself — even though my relationship with God (who I now call Spirit) was not whole. Years later, after I was introduced to New Thought teaching, I learned that my perspective was all wrong. I could not pray for God to change someone else; I could only pray for God to change me!
I don’t know how my friend is feeling now. But I know that she is not abandoned despite being as mad as she may be at God. I reassured her that, when she was ready, I was only a phone call away.
And by the way, after I remarried and my new husband heard my story about God not answering my prayers, he smiled and said: “What are you talking about? God DID change your husband. Here I am: The changed husband!”