In the last articles, I talked about my journey with prayer and affirmations. If you missed reading them, here are the links:
Part Four of My Story
About 25 or more years ago, I found myself in a troubled marriage driving me to deeper despair nearly every day. The attentive Christian man I married in my early 20s did not turn out to be the person I thought he was before we got married. We tried several different counseling techniques and situations. But he continued to fall back into his emotional and verbal abuse of me and most of our 4 children.
He was sick for several years with undiagnosed Lyme disease which softened most of his abusive ways. During that time, I took care of him best I 
could along with homeschooling our four children. We finally realized the extreme weather of the mid-west was aggravating his symptoms and moved to a warmer climate. Thankfully, his health slowly began to improve ….. but then, so did his bad temper and emotional abuse!!
I was happy to see his health improved, but I could not face the old abuse I thought was gone. After months in denial, I knew I needed to make a decision about my marriage — not only for myself but also to preserve the well being of my 4 kids.
Being a religion/spiritual person, I always went to church and understood the power of prayer. I knew God was there to help me, so I took the problem to prayer:
“God, please change my husband! Make him the loving caring man that I and my kids deserve.”
But, it was as if the heavens were silent ….. Nothing changed! My unwavering prayer was noticed at the church I attended, and I was called to receive an extra session from the clergy. The prayer was deep, the prayer was emotional, the prayer was wonderful …. then I went home and the situation continued.
Prayed as hard as I knew how, but I was not ‘feeling it’ at all!
What was I doing wrong?
More in Part Five
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