This is one in a series of monthly articles from Gretchen Rubin’s book: The Happiness Project.
April’s Happiness Project is Lighten Up. An interesting theme seeing many of us are stressed over the implications and restrictions of the coronavirus. Keep on reading to find some interesting ways to create happiness with your family during this time.
My children are a tremendous source of happiness. They’ve given me some of the high points of my life and also many of
the small moments that make the days happier. I’m not alone in this. Many people have told me that the very happiest moments of their lives have been the births of their children (and grandchildren).
Gretchen picked some areas where she desired to lighten up — especially as a parent. I am paraphrasing them here:
- Sing in the morning. What a wonderful way to wake up and/or wake up your family in the morning. How can you sing without being happy at that moment! And singing also chases any grumpy attitudes away!
- Acknowledge the reality of people’s feelings. Gretchen explains that too often we deny the negatives feelings children (or family members) share. We must recognize those feelings and respond positively. Such as saying: “Socks can be tough to get off. Sometimes it helps to do this (explanation)” instead of saying “It’s not tough to pull off your socks, just give it a try.”
- Be a treasure house of happy memories. A couple of ways to do this is to create some memorable family traditions. Not just for special occasions like birthdays, but just for the fun of it. And don’t forget to also include a photo session to remember the moment.
- Take time for projects. Projects for kids can include making gifts for grandparents or planning a birthday party. Just as long as it is a fun project that you take time to focus on and not rush, it will increase happiness.
Gretchen concluded the Lighten Up section with the following words of wisdom:
To eke out the most happiness from an experience, we must anticipate it, savor it as it unfolds, express happiness and recall a happy memory.
My kids are all grown and gone, but reading some of her suggestions stung a bit as I knew I had come short with my children when they were little.
I especially hurt over the lack of acknowledgment of my kids’ feelings. Ironically, that was one of the complaints I had with my own upbringing. I seldom felt my feelings were validated. So, I turned around and reverted to some of the same practices with my children! But alas, I can change that with my grown children when they come to me for advice, and with my grandchildren when they are troubled.
But, on the other hand, I remembered when I home-schooled my four kids for six years, we made a lot of happy memories working on various projects. Some of my children, now in their 30s and 40s, have fond memories of the time we worked together on the craft projects we created during those years.
