I read once that we don’t learn during good times — when everything is going our way. We learn through discomfort — when we are out of our comfort zone!
If you have read my articles over the years, you can probably pick out what I have learned during uncomfortable times.
For example, when our home burned down during a wildfire in 2020, I learned some profound lessons about gratitude and finding peace. I would never have learned these lessons as deeply without the discomfort I needed to work past.
You can read about my journey here:
What Tragedy Has Taught Me, Part One
What Tragedy Has Taught Me, Part Two
Although learning through the discomfort of having all my belongings burn is probably the most dramatic incident in my life, I have learned to build on those lessons.
I recently relearned the importance of boundaries — a lesson I have learned repeatedly throughout my life.
You can read about this lesson here:
The Importance of Boundaries
In an article, Leaning into Discomfort, in the February Science of Mind Magazine, Molly Kate Brown, PMHNP-BC, wrote the following:
If we let it, discomfort can be our wisest teacher. We can stop our fight, flight or freeze responses that typically create even more difficulty and suffering. Examples of reacting to discomfort include making others wrong or bad, judging what we don’t understand, diving from one relationship to another because things feel difficult when the hard work begins, or avoiding people, places or opportunities to remain comfortable. … What matters is what we do in this present moment. The only way to the other side is directly through.
This quote took me back to my childbearing days. I remember very distinctly when I went into labor with my first child. I was anxious, scared, terrified, and in a lot of pain and discomfort. And I was alone! Having to deal with the contractions was hard enough, but I could not get in control of my emotions.
“It isn’t supposed to be like this,” I told myself.
It wasn’t until the doctor explained that the harder I resisted the process, the more uncomfortable it would be. Of course, her words were wasted on me at that moment, but I will not forget her caring, reassuring tone. I could relax a bit and lean into the discomfort, much like Molly described in the quote above.
Obviously, I survived and birthed three more children after my first child. How? Just like when my house burned or when my boundaries were threatened, I learned through the discomfort. I have become much quicker and more effective in understanding this process, making it easier each time I go through it.