This is not one of my typical articles, but I thought it might help someone else dealing with forgiveness and release:
My family recently experienced the tragic death of my ex-husband and father of my children from a freak lawnmower accident. I received the call from his landlord on Monday morning — apologizing to me during his call because he did not know who else to contact.
My Pre-Story
Before I tell my story, I need to be honest and admit my ex-husband made me miserable most of the 20 years I was married to him. He was abusive (mostly mentally and emotionally), narcissistic, and just plain mean and controlling. Leaving him was probably one of the best decisions I made in my life.
After a very long and messy divorce, he stopped tormenting me and I was able to begin the healing process. Getting away from 
the destructive behavior and the fear instilled in me and my children, changed me drastically in the years that followed. Thankfully, around that time that I met my current husband. It was through him that I was introduced to many of the New Thought philosophies I follow and teach now.
Over the last 25 years (post-divorce), I learned to stop letting life happen TO me and started making my life happen BY me. As I moved into the process, I knew to forgive was the first step I needed to take. Forgiving my ex-husband and the pain he caused me was just the beginning. I also needed to forgive God and myself for so many misguided feelings and thoughts I harbored during that time.
I don’t know how one can heal without forgiveness; and I don’t know how one can forgive without releasing the particular situation. It took me a long time to dig out of the hole I had allowed myself to fall into. Thankfully, my ex-husband avoided me (and, unfortunately, our children) for the last 15 to 20 years. I can’t speak for my children, but it helped me heal, forgive, and let go of my past.
My Forgiveness Ending
The call from my ex-husband’s landlord (we were friends through a mutual health program) brought lots of memories and feelings back into my life. But one thing I know for sure: I worked through the forgiveness process and am healed from the bad marriage. The fear and distrust were gone. I was not even angry for what I felt he did to me. Nor do I blame myself or God for what happened. All I felt for my ex-husband was sorrow and piety for his downward cycle that ultimately added to his early demise.
It is my hope that he found peace and, maybe, sometime during our marriage, something I said or didn’t say, helped him to find a better way to deal with life before he passed.