Having been a people-pleaser for most of my life, I struggle to show my authenticity through boundaries. Because people-pleasing was so strong in me, I was often taken advantage of. Even as a young girl, I remember having ‘mean’ friends who loved to tease and ridicule me. And my older brothers often chimed in!
As I grew older, I slowly began to set boundaries in my life! I realize that I could not be everything to everyone, and having firmer boundaries made me feel more like my authentic self!
I am currently reading a book called Dance Like Nobody is Watching. The book is authored by one of my favorite authors and friends, Michelle Wadleigh. (I am only halfway through the book, so I will probably come back again to share more insights from her book). The subtitle of her book is ‘The Soul’s Journey to Courage, Authenticity, and Self-Love.’
Until I started reading her book, I never thought of having boundaries as authentic or as a form of self-love.
All life is a learning process, so I have no regrets in this area, but I am finding that being authentic and showing self-love means saying NO when appropriate. For people like me, who are high feelers, I truly understand the need for having boundaries.
Michelle shares lots of pearls of wisdom throughout the book. I would like to share some of them here:
We want to live authentically, not automatically. We want to create by choice and design, not by default.
Oh boy, did that statement hit home! Personally, I chose to live and create by choice!
Until you wake up and remember who you are, you will be constantly creating from what always was, without an original thought.
Again, I want to create from within, not from what always was!
So, becoming an open vessel – curious, spacious, willing–is the first and most powerful stop toward real growth. … Stop waiting for approval of others.
I trust my inner instincts and do not concern myself with the approval of others!
We are never at the mercy of what was–not now, not ever, but choosing a new path takes intention, and yes, it take effort.
Thankfully, I am not a prisoner of my past mistakes after choosing a new path!
Learning to love yourself is not about perfection, it is about embracing who you are, moment by moment, with tenderness and gratitude.
I embrace who I am, even when I am not perfect!
Self-care is not an act of selfishness. Self-care is a statement of caring for the mind, body, heart, and emotions to be fully realized and to give from a place of fullness.
As I continue reading through the book, I increase my authenticity.