In a world that pulls us in different directions, we need to be our authentic selves. To change who we are to please someone or something else may take away our happiness. I truly believe each one of us is here to fulfill our purpose in life. Sometimes, finding that purpose can take time.
When I was in my thirties, I worked in the Foster Care system. I learned so many things working with troubled and disabled children. Some of their situations were tremendously sad, while others were just kids screaming for their needs to be met.
As part of the program, I periodically sat in meetings with other foster children’s parents and caregivers. One meeting I was a part of still lives strongly in my mind. The foster child was a teenage girl who was very angry. She was very outspoken about her hatred of her stepmother, but confessed that she loved her father dearly. Tough conflict! The more I listened to her, the more I realized that what or who she hated most was herself!
When it was my turn to address the teenager, I told her two things. The first was that even though she may hate her stepmother (who was in the room listening to her express this hatred), she needed to respect her and her position in her life. After all, if she loved her father, that was the best way to show that love. The second point I made concerned how she felt about herself. I saw that she needed some direction to vent her strong emotions. At this point, I became a bit philosophical and even surprised myself with my response! “Every person has a purpose and gift in life,” I told her. “You need to find what makes you happy; find what makes you love your life again; and focus on that path,” I suggested.
Now, 40-some years later, I am remembering the importance of being MY authentic self! During the time I was a foster parent, I was in a very difficult and dysfunctional marriage. We had four kids at the time who weren’t immune to what was going on. The way I dealt with the situation was to pour my energy and feelings into homeschooling my four kids and then working with foster kids. At that time, that was my passion and purpose, which helped me work beyond the turmoil in my marriage.
Being our authentic self doesn’t always mean the same thing to everyone. Nor does it mean it will be the same throughout your whole life. But being authentically you in the moment can bring peace and happiness in your life.