I learned a very important lesson this past week about perspective and how different things can look to one person versus another.
Just so we are all on the same page, here is the definition of perspective (from Dictionary.com) that I am addressing:
the state of one’s ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship.
the faculty of seeing all the relevant data in a meaningful relationship.
We came home from my mini-vacation (we had a great time, by the way) to find that my daughter had made one of the biggest mistakes I have ever known her to make.
Life is not easy for my daughter.
Just for some background: My daughter is not healthy. She has many physical, mental, and emotional issues which have qualified her for SSDI (disability) benefits. Thankfully, she also has a much-needed worker who comes in for a few hours each day to help her.
Watching and helping her maneuver life for her and her 13-year-0ld son has been challenging for me. I am there for her when I can be, but sometimes there is nothing I can do.
To protect my daughter, I am not going to reveal her decision. Just know that everything in my body screamed that this was not the right thing to do. Unfortunately, she did not share her decision with me until it was too late. I could not step in and help!
What surprised me was that she seemed to think this would benefit her, rather than seeing it as the disaster I saw.
My ultimate perspective
Try as I might, I couldn’t let go of the dread I felt. So I decided to talk this over with someone I trusted and who knew my daughter.
To my surprise, my friend agreed with my daughter because they thought that this decision would benefit her in the long run. After hearing another perspective, I realized she was trying to simplify her life with this decision.
Then it occurred to me that I was looking at this through my own eyes, seeing how a decision like this would impact ME! But I am not my daughter! I could agree (as she also stated) that there might have been a better way to achieve this than the way things unfolded. But I realized, if it helped make her life easier, who was I to judge?
Why am I sharing this? Maybe because we make judgments every day from our own personal perspective. Often that is not what others see, feel, or decide is right for them.
Next time I am confronted with a situation like this, I will try to see it from their perspective rather than my own!